


A Momentary Respite

by CalorisBerlioz



Category: Shin Megami Tensei Devil Summoner, Shin Megami Tensei Series, Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27533194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalorisBerlioz/pseuds/CalorisBerlioz
Summary: The Demifiend and Raidou Kuzunoha discuss their problems in an emotionally healthy way.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	A Momentary Respite

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I had the heart to write anything. Some of my original projects have been revived by an ancient ritual of sacrifice, but it seemed like a good idea to have some fun side projects as well, so here I am. Nocturne's my fix whenever I need enough blood flow to stave off rigor mortis and after tuning in to This Is My Servant, Whom I Uphold for a few weeks, I feel inspired to write about it. Not a romance fic (I intend to write one later) but I adore this pair.

Ikebukuro, in the aftermath of its collapse, was quiet, and  _ still _ . Nihilo had been thorough in its destruction of the Mantra, not an oni left unturned in the lobby of the mall where they had built their empire. But it wasn’t especially noteworthy. Silence was pervasive in the wasteland above and below ground, and there was an ecosystem set in place by the demons festering on Earth’s corpse that dictated who lived and who died, which just so happened to choose the Mantra to devour. But something about this silence sent a prickle of unease down Demifiend’s spine. Maybe it was the contrast between this tomb and the courtyard of kings which had previously existed in the same spot, or maybe it was agitation from Kagutsuchi waxing in the sky. He didn’t know if he wanted to find out anymore. Instead he watched his shadow twist and stretch along the dusty, glass-lined linoleum, and wondered why he even needed to go to Asakusa. Something about a terminal. Something about manikins. Did it even matter?

A crunch of glass echoed from the hall to his left. He waited a moment expecting to hear the shuddering breath of a manikin, but nothing reached his ears. That prickle of fear intensified. Rounding the corner, he froze in a patch of Kagutsuchi’s fluorescent light and sent his last regards to God.

That creep in the cape was standing there. His pale eyes shone in the alien moonlight, blending with the bloodless skin of his face. Neither of them said or did anything. Demifiend was completely alone, but he knew that wherever that kid went, the cat was soon to follow. The very act of seeing him was unsettling in and of itself. He seemed to appear on his own terms, tracking Demifiend, watching every move in wait for a cue to make his entrance. But here, in the decrepit labyrinth guarding the Mantra’s headquarters, Demifiend seemed to have caught him unawares. That sheen in the boy’s eyes was not a glint of opportunity, but of shock.

If Demifiend played his cards right, he could eliminate one of the many obstacles prohibiting his peace of mind. He put up his hands to show the boy he was unarmed and nonthreatening.

“Hey, no hard feelings, right?”

The boy didn’t appear wounded from their earlier fight, but magical healing items were more available in the wasteland than painkillers had been in the old world. And besides, wounded pride was the greatest weapon. The last thing he needed was for his rival to seek revenge.

He took a step forward to test the atmosphere. Immediately the boy’s hand went to his katana, and Demifiend stopped where he was.

“I’m not gonna hurt you.”

On closer inspection, the glass tubes usually strapped into the bandolier across the boy’s chest were also absent. Demifiend knew he could handle himself should things escalate into another fight.

“You’re… Raidou, right? I’m bad with names.”

“And you’re Naoki.”

Demifiend shivered at hearing his human name, especially from someone who had no business knowing it. Raidou’s voice was ghostly quiet, faintly gravelly from disuse, and so soft that Demifiend was certain that if you held a piece of paper before his lips as he spoke, it wouldn’t so much as flutter. It was unsettling amidst the already silent ruins.

“I don’t really go by that anymore.”

“Would you rather I dehumanise you with the title the demons have given you?”

“Do you mean ‘Demifiend,’ or ‘half-human freak’? Either way, yeah. I would prefer that.”

What was there left to dehumanise? Was he serious?

“In that case, I’ll call you ‘Demifiend.’ Would it be too much to ask you to also refer to me by my full title?”

“Which is?”

“Raidou Kuzunoha the XIV.”

“Uh…”

“Devil Summoner is an optional subtitle.”

Raidou’s thin, straight lips twitched into a crooked smirk, and a bubble of laughter burst from between them.

“You’re joking. I thought you were for real.”

All the tension in Demifiend’s muscles melted away. For the first time in an indeterminate amount of time, he was having a normal human interaction, with someone he didn’t think was all human himself.

“Raidou’s fine. The full title is… rather stuffy.”

“I agree, good call.”

By this point Raidou had allowed him to take a few steps closer, but was still visibly on edge. Not that Demifiend could blame him. It was a scary world even with his magatama and demon companions. He couldn’t imagine braving it with nothing better than outdated firearms, strength, and human willpower. The katana  _ was _ cool though, he’d give him that. He kept talking to convince Raidou to relax more.

“Not to be weird, but I’m digging the uniform.”

“Digging..?”

“Y’know. It’s cool.”

Raidou put a hand on his sleeve, rubbing the fabric.

“It feels temperate to me.”

Demifiend sighed. In spite of Raidou also being a teenager, he’d have to talk to him like he was a grandpa.

“I mean, the uniform looks good. I like it.”

“Thank you,” Raidou said after a pause. “I never gave it much thought. It’s just what I have to wear every day.” He paused again, eyes flicking up and down Demifiend’s body before coming to rest at his face. “In all candor, I wish I could go without it for a while, like you do. The markings look… cool, as you say.”

“Thanks.”

And thank God Raidou learned slang quicker and more accurately than grandpas did.

“It’s certainly hot where you live. Has it always been this way?” Raidou asked.

“No, not at all.”

Demifiend couldn’t disguise the hint of sadness in his tone, the hint of Naoki unearthed by this rare moment of repose.

“Oh. I apologise.”

“Nah, nah, it’s fine. What are you doing here anyway?”

“In your world? I can’t tell you. It’s a private affair between myself and my client.”

“Have I run into your client at all?”

“Perhaps.”

Detective types weren’t ones to budge on private information. He decided to drop the subject in case further prying offended Raidou.

“What about here in this mall?”

“That’s what this is called? I’m here to rest after attending to my own business nearby, those poor manikins are never without need of help.”

“I hear that. What’d they ask you for?”

“They were scared to death of Mantra demons in the underpass. I managed to coax them out of their rooms by clearing the area of some isoras.”

Demifiend snorted.

“I had to bring one of them a hundred yen bill to get through the gate - where’d he even expect me to find it? I ended up stealing one from Loki and nearly got my ass kicked,” his voice echoed down the hallway, laced with annoyance.

“I could’ve given you a bill if you asked for it,” Raidou snickered, tilting his hat in a mocking fashion.

“Yeah right. You nearly kicked my ass too.”

Demifiend ground his shoe absentmindedly into the debris on the ground. It felt so good not being obliged to punch Raidou in the face for existing nearby, to get a break in routine.

“So, you know my human name. Are you allowed to tell me how?” he asked.

Raidou didn’t answer for a moment. Then, with a slight shrug, said: “No.”

“Can I ask where your cat is?”

Raidou laughed, an awkward sound, but Demifiend liked it for what it was. Perhaps Raidou had also gotten used to never having a reason to laugh.

“Don’t let him hear you talk about him that way. He’s more like a mentor, and he’s out sniffing around for  _ you _ . Don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe.”

Demifiend smiled. As if he needed a human’s protection from a little kitty cat. Together they moved out of the hall, avoiding the main lobby where Gouto or Demifiend’s demons (which he had left in the fountain of life) might see them, and climbed a broken escalator to the second floor.

“Mentor or not, he’s cute.”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Has he ever worn a collar?”

“Perish the thought.”

They stopped before one of the great glass bannisters and peered into the lobby below. There was Gouto, a black ant, his nose pressed into the tile. He looked up, tail swishing like a satellite searching for a signal, and continued along the line where Demifiend had crossed not fifteen minutes earlier. Raidou and Demifiend laughed quietly and rushed away before Gouto could see them. Both of them, burdened by mirrored responsibilities, felt  _ young _ , Raidou for the first time in his life, and Demifiend for the first time since the Conception. They came to an empty shop where they were sure they’d be safe for a little while and paused to speak again, both scarcely out of breath.

“Why’re you two tracking me anyway?” Demifiend asked. Raidou made to say something, stopped, started again, and then removed his hat to run a hand through his dishevelled hair.

“Does it have to do with your client?”

Raidou nodded.

“Fine. Keep your secrets. I’d love to tell you everything about me.”

He felt comfortable around this side of Raidou. Without the cat, Raidou was much like him: a teenager with extraordinary circumstances who had probably been forced to sacrifice something of his normal life to become what he was now. He couldn’t shake the suspicion that something about his openness was a result of a devil summoner technique, or the power of Kagutsuchi throwing away all refrain.

“It’s nothing personal, but alright then. Your secrets are safe.” Raidou waited expectantly, almost eagerly, for Demifiend to continue.

“This whole place used to be normal Tokyo. It’s hard to believe since there are demons all over running things like they’ve always been around, but it’s the truth. I used to go to high school here in the city. You know my human name.”

Raidou’s eyes widened in fascination. There was a flash of something else there, something akin to shock, but there had been so many odd gleams in the summoner’s eye since they’d met up that Demifiend disregarded it.

“I know now that you used to be human, but in the beginning I thought you were just born the way you are. That you had never been normal.”

“Did that make you feel better about tracking me?”

After a pause, “Yes.”

“When did you find out?”

“Not long after our first fight.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Demifiend dropped the subject, and laughed.

“First. You say that like we’re going to have more fights.”

“Unfortunately, we’ll have to. Again, it’s nothing personal.”

Demifiend scratched the back of his neck.

“Allow me to direct the conversation for a moment,” Raidou offered, much to his relief. “What’s it like to be part demon?”

“God, it happened so fast. It’s like there was never a shift from human into demon, it just…  _ happened _ . It feels awesome. Powerful. It feels really good when I beat the shit out of other demons and grind their faces into the tar.”

Kagutsuchi’s power was definitely coursing through him now, he could feel it burning in his veins, his tattoos glowing an agitated orange. Raidou noticed this and seemed taken aback, by fear or by awe Demifiend was unable to ascertain.

“Interesting. Do you ever miss being full-human?”

He thought back, but found that his memories of what it was like to be human were becoming blurred, hazy, and separate from himself. They’d been gradually becoming more unreachable as time passed, but now he could hardly make out one stage of his former life from another.

“I don’t really think so,” he said, taking a seat on one of the benches still standing against the wall. He took a few deep breaths to clear his senses of the adrenaline rush from Kagutsuchi before speaking again. “Why do you keep avoiding calling me a demon?”

Raidou’s eyes had followed him to the bench, but dropped to the floor at his question.

“What do you mean?”

“You know. You didn’t say ‘when you were human,’ you said ‘full-human.’ Why is that?”

Raidou paused, interrupting himself before speaking as if he were about to dodge the question again. He finally answered before Demifiend could dismiss it.

“I can’t accept that you’re anything  _ but _ human, even in a small way.”

That was a first. Demifiend felt his eyes widen a bit before he could hide his surprise. He was going to cry if Raidou kept hitting him with these sudden shots of melancholy, and that was something he didn’t do even when he was human.

“Don’t misunderstand me, Demifiend, my knowledge of demons extends far beyond what I imagine yours to be. I know what defines a demon. I know how they act. And, I’m sure you’re proud to know, you tick many of the boxes.”

He was proud to know. It also brought him relief to know that Raidou wasn’t wholly naive and stupid - he’d survive longer.

“But there’s still a part of you that’s Naoki, whether you want to accept it or not.”

“I don’t see how you could know anything about that,” Demifiend said hastily, then regretted it a little. Raidou shrugged.

“Perhaps I’ve overstepped my boundaries. But Naoki, no matter what, will never be separate from you. You’re too… trusting. Demons don’t chit chat with summoners the way you do. In the same way that I understand you’re still human, you understand that I’m just a human too.”

“You can’t be on duty all the time. That’s just common sense,” Demifiend huffed.

“You’d be surprised how many demons think I have the same inhuman stamina they do.”

Raidou turned to the glass storefront, staring out at the empty halls with his arms folded across his chest.

“Humans will always seek each other out. I wish we could have met under more agreeable circumstances.”

“Yeah…” Fearing the conversation would die completely if he didn’t keep it going, Demifiend cleared his throat. “What are your friends like where you come from? And, can you tell me where you come from?” he sprawled across the bench like a giant cat.

“I’m a little too busy for much socialisation, and besides, I’m not much of a talker. I prefer to listen. I come from the Capital, which I suppose is where you come from as well.”

“Wait, Capital… as in, Imperial Capital?” Demifiend stared wide-eyed and propped himself up on his elbows.

Raidou nodded, the thin smile on his face reflected in the glass. Demifiend groaned and collapsed back onto his forearms.

“God you  _ are _ a grandpa. You know you’d be like 97 in my time?” After a moment of silence, he continued, “I think you’re talkative enough.”

“When I’m comfortable,” Raidou said. “Though, I’m in the habit of being uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I get that. I never asked for any of this.”

Raidou bit his lip. “That’s the worst part. In many ways, I  _ did _ ask. This is something I’ve always felt I was born to do. But sometimes… sometimes I want to… feel normal again. To feel as if I belong somewhere. My role as a devil summoner prevents me from both connecting meaningfully with any humans and getting too close with any demons. It’s lonely.”

Demifiend regarded him from where he lay, his head resting on his forearms, and sighed. 

“Yeah… I get that, too.”

Raidou turned away from the window, his pale face mottled by shadow.

“I suppose I have Narumi. He’s childish enough for the both of us.”

Demifiend smiled before burying his head back in his arms.

“You’re super lucky, y’know. Whoever Narumi is, tell him something nice. You never know when everyone will be gone.”

Raidou nodded.

“If I may be honest again, I’m paralysingly afraid of failure,” Raidou admitted, feeling safe to do so. Demifiend’s shoulders bucked in a half-laugh, half-startle.

“You’re gonna make it real hard to pound your face in if you keep talking like that.”

“I apologise.”

“Don’t. I’m scared of failure too. I guess we both have a lot to lose.”

By this time Raidou was certain that Gouto was nearby. He had been keeping watch for him through the window, but the cat had a way of sneaking up on even the most alert of watchers. With a sigh he turned to regard the Demifiend’s relaxed figure, disappointed that they couldn’t talk like this forever. Maybe, one day… No, for certain, one day they would be able to. His hand instinctively went to rest over where his kuda normally were (he’d left all but the emergency tube in his sock at the Cathedral of Shadows) before he stopped himself. He wouldn’t seek out the Demifiend to capture him anymore, his desires extended beyond that now. The Demifiend was, for the first time in his life, someone for him to connect with. A friend.

“I hate to be so abrupt, but Gouto will find you if we don’t wrap things up. Thank you for this. I hope to do it again sometime.”

“Yeah, me too,” Demifiend stretched, the muscles in his back pulling gracefully over the contours of his bones, then rose to his knees, brushing a few strands of hair out of his eyes. “It feels good not to have to listen for once, doesn’t it?”

Raidou nodded. With a tip of his hat, and a short wave, he exited the shop. Demifiend waited a moment before also making his exit, moving in the opposite direction towards the escalator which would take him back to the entrance lobby. He paused for a moment to watch Raidou disappear around a corner, himself hidden in deep blue shadow.

“Raidou! Any sign of the fiend?”

He heard the faint rustle of Raidou shrugging beneath his cape.

“Honestly Raidou, you gotta stay on your toes. The scent’s so strong around here.”

“He gave me the slip.”

“Either he’s exceptionally clever, or we need to have a talk.”

He heard the cat sniff around and draw a little closer.

“He’s nowhere to be seen. Not even Da’at is picking up on him.”

“Must be a stale scent then… I could’ve sworn…”

The pair moved away, their conversation muffled by distance, and Demifiend felt his muscles relax. He didn’t know he’d been tense. It felt sad to hear Raidou go, but a twinge of reassurance kept it from bothering him. One day whatever task Raidou had been given would be over and they wouldn’t have to fight anymore. He felt the stirrings of friendship in him again after an indeterminate amount of time without them. Maybe Raidou was right. Maybe Naoki was still alive somewhere in his heart. And maybe, that wasn’t such a bad thing.

**Author's Note:**

> "Nothing personnel, kid." - Raidou Kuzunoha, 2006.


End file.
